“I no longer meet up with men older than twenty-five!”, says a friend of mine.
She is now a porn star. But at the time she had just discovered sex. It wasn’t as if she was a virgin till forty-five. There was a lot of sex but it was always for the relationship, not for herself. Previously, for women who were brought like her, the most important thing is marriage, or at least a “serious relationship”, and the main thing in it was to please a man one way or another.
And then one day a friend opened an account on a sex app for her, and everything changed. No relationship, no prejudice or preconceptions. It was purely for sex and purely for her own pleasure.
The more prejudices, the less people allow themselves what they want
As it turns out, sometimes you just need great crazy sex.Things like intelligence, age, status, do not really matter. The main thing is whether there is an attraction between you and your lover. Whether this person is snappy or boring.
“And what’s wrong with those who are older?”, I asked her, feeling surprised..
“Well, sometimes older men just look bad, or they are boring, they are not curious, they need to talk, and I don’t want to talk!” she snapped. “Either we have sex, or nothing, that’s my point!”
This is her opinion, not mine. I’m not an ageist, I don’t care about age. If thinking “well, she’s too old” or “oh well, he’s too young and stupid,” can stop you from pursuing someone, then you don’t understand anything about passion. But I do partially understand my friend, as well as some men and women who are 35+, and so confused and complex. They have so many rules, so many complexes, cliches and prejudices that you will go crazy until they take off their pants. And then they will flop around in bed, twisted from their troubles. There are some places, like in the South where you to have glasses of wine before having sex, on a first date.
Between dating and sex – just one glass of wine
My pornstar friend works as a MILF. Some people will say that this is “not entirely normal” – this phenomenon of inexperienced youth dreaming of a mature, experienced woman. In reality, no one really needs any kind of experience.In sex you are either so excited that you want to do whatever you want, or it somehow didn’t go well – and you don’t like whats happening. This can be at 16 or at 60.
And the truth is, there should not be any restrictions in sex. Passion arises between very different people, of different ages, of the same sex, between strangers, or, conversely, suddenly between close friends. A person can live confidently as a hetero, and suddenly have a desire for someone of the same gender.
If a young man likes a woman of 50, it’s not that he likes her age, but actually he likes her for herself. The more prejudice there is, the fewer people allow themselves what they really want.
For women, a man ten years older was considered the same age. Because he’s kind of smarter and richer, and more able to make decisions. She chooses him not because she is so wet that she can barely hold herself together, but because she can be behind him as if she was behind a fence with barbed wire. And being with a younger man for her meant becoming a fence herself and a mother at the same time. Well, in her lush fantasies. It is clear that a man ten years younger in such a context is just a baby.
And men, in general, were the worst of all. Women of the same age need “peers” ten years older, and women are ashamed to be carried away by “babies”. The sexual heyday of a man is his 40s – at this point he is already an adult and serious for those who are a little younger, or those who are the same age or older and in some despair, ready to “lower the bar.”
But apps are a brave new world where what matters is how you feel. Nobody sees you, nobody will judge you. And for that reason it results in much more relationships (which are generally about sex, but not one-night stands) between people of different ages.
Probably, one could say that sex between an older woman and a younger man is in a sense convenient – a woman does not need a relationship, so she does not require anything, and a young man has little to offer other than sex, so this is ideal for him. But that would be a lie.
You still talk about something between sexual intercourse, share some emotions
A young guy, 22 years old, lover of a 46 year old friend of mine came to her with gifts, tried in every possible way to take care of her and show how he worships her. He is an athlete, so from the age of 16 he was independent, perfectly able to support himself and earning quite well.
Another met a 25 year old man when she was 41and they helped each other change their lives. Although they met for sex.they talked about things between acts and shared some experiences.
Another friend of mine aged 49, slept with a man who is 30. He introduced her to the world of BDSM. She discovered that all her life she hid such desires from herself, and for this she was incredibly grateful to him. They broke up after a few years, but are still friends.
People who are happy in sex usually do not care about all this
If we are talking about normal people, not prudes, not nerds, not those who cling to their complexes and will never give themselves to anyone, then usually even a purely sex relationship becomes something more, even if only a little – some kind of cute friendship. Happiness always brings you closer, and good sex is always happiness, of course. Something wonderful comes from positive emotions. Even without a relationship. Or with one. As it turns out, the main thing is not to be tortured and deliberate.
You always leave with something wonderful after good sex. Especially if there are no goals like, desperately do anything you can to find someone to be in a relationship with; Be with anyone just to not to be alone, try to be with the right kind of “decent” person, so that no one judges you. Let them judge! Let them have something to talk about. It has been noticed that people who have happy sex lives usually do not care about all this. They feel so good that all this nonsense just bounces off.
