Let’s face our bitter reality — no couple wants to say “we’ve met online”. Sharing eye contact on a bus stop, approaching her in the street, accidentally meeting on the world’s most boring party and fleeing it together — all sounds better than “I swiped right on, and so did she”.
It might not have that much of a ring to it — yet, there’s no denying dating apps are worth giving a try. If you haven’t tried looking for relationships online before, there’s always a first time. To nail your profile and literally sweep her off her feet as soon as your picture is in sight, take your time to learn a few simple tips.
This post is all about how to meet girls online without trying too hard. Let’s get into it.
Getting into a “go-get-it” mode
Before you set foot on a dating website, it’s essential to get a healthy awareness of what is waiting for you. Online dating is not as tedious as approaching someone in real life — but, let’s face it, it’s not exactly easy to make the first step and reach out to a complete stranger.
Here are a few tips that’ll tell you how to meet new girls.
1. Embrace rejection
A successful dating journey starts with accepting worst-case scenarios. Reaching out to girls will not always be a piece of cake. You will be ghosted, politely turned down, even abruptly rejected.
Rejection often hurts and makes you feel like giving up. Unfortunately, looking for steady relationships doesn’t come from a quick fix or instant gratification. It’s work in progress, and rejection is a part of it.
Some people might reject you because you shine too brightly for them.
2. Be genuine
Much like real life, dating apps are not free from biases men have to follow to meet girls. It might be tempting to wear a mask of a dependable keeper or a seductive alpha male. Unfortunately, the “fake it till you make it” mentality is not the right one for dating. On the contrary, women are likely to turn their backs on a guy that seems creepy, fake, or secretive.
Figuring out what is the best way to meet girls takes time. Trying different pickup lines, exercising in eloquence in self-descriptions will all come into play. Once are be able to distinguish your actual personality from a persona the world wants you to wear, the odds of finding a suitable partner will increase drastically.
Forget about being impressive and commit to being real. Being real is impressive
Jonathan Harnisch
3. Be the best version of yourself
Online dating is a great chance to take a look at your life and question the way you approach problems and challenges. Women tend to look for a proactive partner, willing to accept challenges, face their fears manage them proactively.
You will not become truly confident in a day. With time, however, the ease of approaching girls will appear naturally if you have a habit of stepping out of the comfort zone. Facing your greatest fears can be a better confidence boost than a 6-pack — go ahead, draw up a list of things you wanted to try but are scared to, and cross them off — one at a time.
Face the very thing you fear and persist in doing it. That is the fastest and most certain way to overcome it.
Dale Carnegie
Creating a killer profile
When you’re mentally ready to explore the dating scene, it’s time to get into the nitty-gritty of using apps. Take a look at these tried-and-true tips to set up a profile that’ll turn you into a “lady magnet”. No, we are not exaggerating.
1. Examine the environment
It all starts with gauging out the environment’s “dos” and “don’ts”. Take your time to browse through other daters’ profiles of other male daters. Looking through accounts helps provide the answer to the “How do I meet a girl” question:
- It’s a confidence boost. The first thing you’ll notice when browsing a profile is that nobody’s perfect. All men out there have quirks — and it’s okay.
- It’s the inspiration you’re looking for. After looking through a few dozen profiles, your arms will be itching to fill in your account. You will see that you are better than most of your contenders and will now want to show off your amazing work and a broad range of hobbies to the world.
- It’s a way to learn typical mistakes without repeating them. As you go through profiles, remark both positives and no-gos. Then, implement the former in your profile and steer clear of the latter.
2. Choose action shots
Showing your abs to all the women out there is cool and all but also… creepy? You wouldn’t want to come off as a fitness freak — that’s why choosing action pictures over selfies is the safest move.
Profile pictures that show you playing the guitar, hiking, or working get more messages as they offer ladies a conversation starter. Also, the book of your personality will be judged by the contents, not the cover.
3. Avoid vagueness
Women come to platforms trying to connect with a partner and make an informed choice — help them. An easy way to discover how to find girls is by not hiding the skeletons in the closet. Instead, accept and wear them as a badge of honour.
Also, specifics add substance to everything you say. Describing yourself as a travel junkie, name a place you would love to visit with a girlfriend. If you say you love reading, name a book that has fundamentally shaped your personality.
4. Spelling matters
Grammar errors are not edgy, sexy, or badass. A fair share of girls would find spelling problems a turn-off. You don’t have to be a grammar geek to have an error-free profile. All it takes is to proofread all descriptions at least once (out loud) and to install a spell-checker.
Also, fellow online daters, keep in mind that punctuation is better in moderation. There’s more harm in placing a comma where it doesn’t belong compared to omitting a punctuation mark altogether.
5. Be at the centre of attention
Choosing a group picture where they are not even at the centre of the frame is a common mistake of online dating. While insecurities often drive us to hide in the crowd, to find a relationship successfully, you need exactly the opposite.
When uploading pictures, choose those where you’re either alone or are an obvious eye-stopper.
6. Be funny
Be sure to drive a distinction between ”seeming” and “being”. If you wouldn’t describe yourself as genuinely funny, trying to fake it so that a girl likes you will backfire. However, if friends and family often praise your edgy, quirky humour, don’t shy away from letting it shine in the profile.
”Someone who will make me laugh” is a way many women describe their dream partner. Maybe you are the one to fit the bill? Take your humour and wit and go for it.
7. Be extra
Come now, what girl would enjoy a boring “Love walking and reading” profile description? It’s a dating app, not a Wikipedia page. It’s a perfect place to be unconventional and non-traditional.
Here are some rarely seen yet killer things to mention in a bio:
- Five things you would take to a deserted island;
- Your specific hobby — a TV show you dig, a PC game series you geek for, and so on;
- A favourite Vine or a meme — it’s a way to take a lightweight conversation off the ground;
- A CTA (Tell you my SAT score if you swipe right).
Your list of ideas doesn’t have to end here — a touch of creativity is all it takes to come up with an “extra” bio. Even if you come across as slightly weird, it’ll still be better than adding just your age and height to the bio (as if so many girls care about it).
8. Put conversation starters in the bio
Another way to get more messages on a dating app is by putting in things you’d enjoy discussing with somebody. There are several ways to put conversation starters in the profile:
- Encouraging an open discussion: “Let’s talk about the 80s music”, “Love sitcoms, let’s talk comedy”, “Would love to discuss Fallout 4 with someone”, and so on.
- Starting a debate. Offer two contrasting opinions and encourage debate around the topics you enjoy. “Wine > Beer”, “Anime > Manga”, “Movies at cinema > Netflix and chill” and other popular web controversies will do. Remember to steer clear from politics and healthcare topics. “Left-wing > Right-wing”, “Pro-vax > Anti-vax” are not the conversation starters you’re looking for.
- Ask questions. Put an open-ended question at the end of the bio. For instance: “What was the last movie that made you cry?” or “What are your favourite song lyrics? Why did you choose these lines?”
9. Be active
If you haven’t gotten any matches after a few days of exploring a dating app, jumping off the bandwagon is an understandable instinct. Don’t follow it. It takes hard work and perseverance to find a romantic partner.
Dedicate a fixed amount of time per day to browsing through profiles, looking for matches and messaging. This way, your profile activity increases the amount of trust you’re getting. Also, you’ll be able to test different conversation starters and pickup lines.
10. Avoid condescending checklists
It’s always tempting to remind your next partner that you, too, are the one who chooses. However, it’s not the healthiest dynamics and will, most likely, halt your progress. If you think a woman will be happy to match the bullet points on your list — you’re heavily mistaken. She has her list, too — and you might not fully match it either.
Online dating is all about compromising and keeping an open mind. Give a girl a chance to decide if she matches with you rather than forcing rules and checklists from the get-go. Remember, messaging someone who doesn’t seem a likely match is often a crucial ingredient to a successful date recipe.
How to choose the right dating app?
If your profile follows all the tips listed above but there’s no reciprocation from girls, chances are, you’re looking in the wrong place. Choosing a website that’ll land you a committed relationship is not easy — it’s not rocket science either.
Here are a few tips that’ll help you find the right platform for your next stable relationship.
1. First-time daters stick to mainstream apps
As the popularity of dating apps grows with an impressive pace, there are more and more so-called “niche” platforms. While it’s tempting to date someone with a similar value system or a career field, for first-time daters, it’s better to stick to mainstream apps.
There are several benefits such websites bring to the table:
- A broader user base — there are more attractive women you can match with.
- Lower subscription fees. There’s a shade of elitism niche apps often have. Mainstream websites are reasonably priced, some of them have fairly functional free versions.
- More reviews and guides. If you are new to online dating, app tutorials and guides will come in handy.
2. Choose an app that meets your expectation
The good news is — there’s an app for every guy out there. Regardless if you look for a committed relationship, casual dating, or a one-night stand, there’s always a platform to fill the bill.
However, there’s also a risk to spend time exploring platforms that don’t meet your expectations. Be sure to understand what kind of a relationship you’re looking for, what type of a partner you would be happy to have, and how much time and work you’re willing to put into searching. Then, it’s up to you if you choose a low-commitment Tinder-like app or an eHarmony kind of tool, with lengthy questionnaires and in-depth matching algorithms.
3. Go for a website that taps into your demographic
It’s not a secret that certain platforms resonate with millennials better than others. If you want to meet a girl in her 25s-30s, choose a website that she’s likely to visit. This crosses platforms like Match or eHarmony off your list — they are mostly used by daters in their 30s and 40s. It also makes no sense to use outdated sites from the list of Back Page replacement.
Edgy apps like Pure is what a modern millennial dater should be looking for. A minimalistic interface, a self-destructing profile, quick matching, and no commitment until you want it — that’s what the website brings to the table.
Pure — a hassle-free way to meet girls
Pure is a web application created to help millennials meet each other and connect. “No judgment” is a crucial rule here. On Pure, you will not have to hold back or put on a face. All your messages with be deleted in an hour anyway — so go on and be yourself.
Why should you give Pure a try? Let’s take a look at a couple of reasons to test the platform:
- A 1-2-minute signing up process. Uploading a photo and writing a short bio is all it takes to get started on Pure. There’s no need to spend 2-3 hours answering questions or taking personality tests. Dive straight into the match pool and find a girlfriend you have always wanted.
- Space for in-depth connections and hookups. Pure holds no pressure over your head, doesn’t push you to connect with a girl, doesn’t set time constraints. It’s all the other way around — you’ll be the one to decide if you’re in it for the long haul or a single ecstatic night with no commitments.
- All the security you could dream of. With dating sites, you never feel at ease. What if your texts are somehow leaked? What if a colleague, a friend, or a family member catches a glimpse of your profile? With Pure, you can let go of all the privacy concerns. An hour after registration, the website automatically deletes a user’s profile. No one will ever know you’ve been here.
- An interface you can’t walk past. The look and feel of Pure is nothing but visual pleasure. It’s not your regular hookup website, or a dated, challenging-to-navigate platform. Pure keeps its look minimalistic and disruptive — browsing its pages is an enjoyable experience.
Conclusion
There’s no way to find a one-size-fits-all approach to meeting girls online. Despite all they claim, no one is an expert in the romantic relationship domain. However, there are tips and hacks that will make your experience more enjoyable and fruitful.
The key to success lies in not taking online dating too seriously. Have fun while you’re at it — make jokes, be playful, enjoy yourself. That, along with the right website, is enough to find a girl in no time.
Remember, it only takes courage to make the first step. It’ll go easier from that point forward — so don’t hesitate to download your favourite dating app and look for a dream match.
